Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Nutritionists Are Sharing Alcohol “Rules” You Should Really Be Following, Including Women Having No More Than One Drink Per Day - BuzzFeed

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

Forget Florida — these two unexpected states are the new retirement hot spots - Yahoo Finance

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

FDA expands approval of Moderna's RSV vaccine to some adults under age 60 - ABC News

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy bullshit

I have a reading level above third grade

What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

'Collateral damage': Fund managers lobby Congress over Section 899 to avert foreign investors leaving the U.S. - CNBC

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Flash floods kill 3 in West Virginia, several people missing after inches of rain fell in 30 minutes - CBS News

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Venice is set to host Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's fairytale wedding—but residents aren't feeling the love - Fortune

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

‘Stick’: Apple’s Golf Comedy Scores on the Charms of Owen Wilson - Rolling Stone

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

US Inflation to Tick Higher as Tariffs Reach Consumers - Bloomberg

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Watch These Intel Price Levels After Stock Surged 8% Tuesday to Lead S&P 500 Gainers - Investopedia

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones